Diva Rambling: Diva Brigade….

The Diva Brigade….

I have been so blessed in my lifetime to have had such a diverse group of intelligent, creative, compassionate, loving women in my friendship circle. It didn’t happen until I moved away from my village and traveled the world. Women in my village (and perhaps you see this in your village as well) rarely leave their zip code. They usually only talk about their own families, church events, shopping incessantly, and their own woundettes (illnesses)…and everyone has at least two, including all the whiny men about town. You can’t have morning coffee at the watering hole without hearing the sad tale of a knee or hip replacement or cancer, or surgery of some sort. Not a good way to start the day.

When I got into the real world the universe showed me a different side of life. These angels in my circle all over the world are a delight to be with just because they are themselves. We laugh, we cry, we rush to each others side in trials and illness, and we stay in touch in some way all the time. We are women of the world in all shapes, sizes, colors a nationalities. There is no age limit or fitness judgment. To me all are brilliant and savvy divas. They are a comfort and golden threads to the tapestry of my life. They are the grist to the mill of human awareness.

Loyalty among people in a non-romantic context is a paramount to our existence. Friendship that is invested in the long term relationship has a totally different impact on our life.  There are the superficial acquaintances we may put down when they no longer serve a certain purpose. We move from place to place (or not), we change jobs, take up different interests, and the acquaintance we had with a peripheral person does not last, because we were never that entrenched with their lives anyway.

I think, sometimes we should make a commitment to those rare and sparkling gems of our life. We sparkle because they sparkle in our lives. Is there a right time to say to someone ‘I intend on being your friend for as long as we both shall breathe’? In the absence of any kind of social framework supporting such a declaration, it can seem pretty weird. It may even feel strange or oppressive to a person on the receiving end. Is this simply because it’s not what normally happens or they don’t feel the same about life as we do? It doesn’t matter we should tell those we love everyday they are important to us. Time is short we shouldn’t miss that opportunity ever.

Most women put all of their dedication into a romantic relationships, this can leave one out on a limb. That is all I saw in high school females and, therefore, all of my best friends were male. I could hunt, shoot, dance, sing, work on cars, go to museums or theater with these secure males in my life.

It was hard for young women to spot toxic relationships when they had no others for comparison. It is harder to function socially and emotionally when you don’t have multiple people that you can count on to be in your life for support. Psychology tell us repeatedly we need close human ties to stay healthy both mentally and physically.  

I have known women who did not know that friendship is a remarkably rewarding thing, and who only looked for romance… needing a man to complete them. I was lucky, I always knew that you miss out on a lot, and can feel incredibly alone when not in a romantic relationship.  This often worried my father, LOL!  I always had a model prince charming in mind but he still hasn’t shown up! At the same time, if one makes the romantic relationship the main goal, they seem needy and high maintenance. This puts unwanted pressure on the partner. Most men/humans will not long tolerate this behavior.

So, go tell your favorite divas, friends how much you care about them. Be committed to all of your friends in an existential way that they know you are there for them. I have always referred to my favorite divas as  “The Queens Diva Brigade”. Whether at work, or in my personal life, they are the glue to my collage of life. The Diva Brigade always support and uplift each other and we know everyday, no matter where we are the divas are there for each other. Start your own Diva Brigade or Diva Squad of tough cookies.  Secure friends who can rule their own world and help each other all the time. It brings great meaning to your life.

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