Diva Ranting: Southern Cuss Phrases…

You may not know how it is with many Southerners. We can get just as incensed as anyone else, but we try to stay polite about it. That’s why our Southern grannies taught us “cuss words” to use, like “I Swan!” and “Land sakes alive!”

Here are a few things you might hear Southerners yell in anger, frustration or in  traffic.  Did I forget any? 

There’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ!

Blow your nose you’ll get more out of it! Meaning: I hear you but I don’t really care.

You’re dumb as a box of rocks! Meaning the other driver is really dump.

Welll, don’t rush on my account! Meaning: You are driving too slow.

Sure looks like somebody opened the floodgates. Meaning: Traffic is really heavy.

Son of a biscuit eater! Meaning: Exclamation/Negative name calling.

If leather were brains, you wouldn’t have enough to saddle a Junebug! Meaning: you are really Stupid!

Son of a Motherless Goat! Meaning: Negative slur/insult

What in tarnation? Meaning: What the Heck

What the Sam Hill? Meaning: What the heck are you doing?

You don’t have the sense God gave a goose. Meaning: The other person is stupid.

Move over Papaw! Meaning: You are as slow as grandfather.

Grandma was slow but she was old! Meaning: You are as slow as Grandma.

Land Sakes alive! Meaning: negative exclamation for stupidity.

You don’t know a widget from a hole in the ground. Meaning: Stupid

You are as slow as the seven year itch! Meaning: Annoyingly Slow

Holy Mother of Pearl! Meaning: Negative Exclamation.

Dagnabbit! Meaning: Substitute Cuss Word

You can’t walk and chew chewing gum at the same time. Meaning: other person is uncoordinated.

Dagnabbit if I sent you to lunch I’d have to completely retrain you. Meaning: You’re hopelessly useless.

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